Caution: The Ground is Closer Than You Think

Such a beautiful weekend!  Why not take advantage of the weather and put those Rollerblades to use for the first time?  Well, the first time outside and in front of someone other than my husband.

Cody used to use his in-line skates to get everywhere.  He didn’t have a bike, so he skated here and skated there.  He’s good.  Me, not so much.  

When I was growing up, I had a bike that I adored.  I would bike most places.. until I was 12 and was in a horrid accident where I was hit by a 4×4 truck going a little too fast (it was still my fault:  I came out of a one way lane way without stopping.  I, in no way blame the driver, I’m well aware that I was the one at fault).  Thankfully, I had a helmet on, but it was still pretty bad.  Road rash on the face, broken arm in 3 places, concussion.  It was terrible and when they removed my helmet at the hospital, it came off in two pieces.  After that, it took me quite a long time to get back on a bike.  And even to this day, I will not ride a bike on the road.  Trails:  good.  Roads with cars:  didn’t work out so good the last time.  I am sure that my exercising slowed down around that time and I started to put weight on.  I might have still been a chunky girl, but I think it may have happened a little later in life if I wasn’t so terrified to get on a bike or even of crossing the street for fear of being hit again.  

Besides the point.

I trusted Cody to teach me the ins and outs of Rollerblading.  I had visions of picking up the sport with ease.  We were going by the water and my apparent fantasy was that Cody and I would be holding hands while we chatted and laughed while whirling by people on the trails.  I’d look cute in my capris and favorite skull shirt, my hair in a “casual” ponytail.  Cody – he’s always looking good, so I didn’t really focus too much on what he looked like in my fantasy.

So we went to the trail.  Everything seemed pretty flat – no bumps, pot holes, or rocks.  Cool.  I sat down, strapped on the Rollerblades and started to skate.  Hmmm – a little more awkward than I thought, but not too bad.  I went a little further, Cody skated ahead a bit and then BAM.  I was on my ass.  Actually, on my knee to be more accurate.  

As I was falling – things slowed down.  I thought “Oh shit.  I’ve literally been on these things for 3 minutes.”.  I then acknowledged that there was an older couple walking on the trail towards us.  Then I was on the ground.  Nothing was hurting, but I wanted to cry because my ego was bruised  but I laughed instead.  Cody poured some water on the wounds (yes, plural) and the couple reached us and asked if I needed help up (do I really look that chunky?  I am able to lift myself from a sitting position without assistance, thank you.).  I wasn’t bleeding, so I just got up and continued on.  

My dreams were dashed.  I know it wasn’t a graceful fall.  My capris had blood on them.  I don’t exercise… ever… and I was sweating within 20 minutes of being on the skates.  We stopped so I could use the bathroom*, and I noticed that my ponytail wasn’t looking so good – I had flyaway’s all over the place.  My makeup was good though.  Cody, however, looked fantastic.  He fell right back into his old skating ways.  He was so comfortable and at ease, and that, my friends is sexy.  And he took care of me – what girl doesn’t like that?

I continued on.  We skated for a while and went much further than I thought we would.  I did have fun, too.  My scrapes are a little worse than I originally thought, but I think I’ll make it.  My only regret:  I knew I should have bought the knee pads.


I’m getting a lot of sympathy from Cody… and every person I pass on the street.

“Perseverance is falling 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” — Julie Andrews

I sincerely hope that it doesn’t take me that long to learn to use these bad boys.  I would like to wear a dress at some point this summer without having to explain how I got so banged up.


Have fun, friends.




* After using the “facilities” by the lake, I understand why some people might opt to piss in the lake.  The toilet paper was on the floor.  No, not some jackass being a jackass and unravelling or leaving pieces on the floor… The roll of the toilet paper was on the floor, and that’s where it was for you to obtain your portion from.  Also, there were no locks on the door.  So, while hovering, I had to hold the door closed and attempt at not missing the pot.  Almost as painful as my injury.


One thought on “Caution: The Ground is Closer Than You Think

  1. Pingback: Be Careful With What You Research | Baby Brain... Sans Baby

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s